have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
