mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I want to fling myself into the sun
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
