She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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