It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
