Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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