Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
