just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
