Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
