So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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