i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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