Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
