you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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