STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
