Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
PANTIES FOUND
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
