maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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