You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
