Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize