dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
