no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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