i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Panties = found
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
