I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
