somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
