I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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