i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
