Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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