Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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