So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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