this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
