are you still at the devil's house?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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