I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
