All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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