he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize