Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
