i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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