Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
