My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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