Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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