In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
