i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
