then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
