he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
