the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
