that's an acceptable place to lick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
