I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
