your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
