I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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