Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
