If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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