the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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