Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
