Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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