If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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