I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
