some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
