its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
