I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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