she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
