YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize