I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
