hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
