We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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