drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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